Embracing Doubt: The Real Path to Building Unshakeable Confidence

If I had a euro for every athlete who told me, “I just need to be more confident,” I’d probably own a Formula 1 team by now. Confidence is often seen as a magical state where doubts vanish and everything feels perfect. However, most of us experience doubt, especially when the stakes are high. The truth is, confidence isn’t about never doubting yourself; it’s about performing even when those doubts creep in.

What Confidence Really Is (and Isn’t)

So, what is confidence, really? At its core, confidence is about the ability to take action despite having doubts. Having doubts doesn’t mean something’s wrong; it means you care and you’re pushing your limits. For instance, when athletes compete in high-pressure situations, like F1 drivers or top football players, many report feeling nerves right before having to perform. In fact, the vast majority of athletes experience anxiety and nerves before competitions. Yet, they still rev their engines or step onto the field because they trust their training and skills.

And let’s be honest: If you’re waiting to feel 100% confident before you perform, you’ll be waiting forever and probably still tying your shoelaces when the whistle blows.

F1 cars racing on a track

What Undermines Confidence

Now, let’s talk about what can undermine our confidence.

First up is perfectionism. The belief that “If I don’t play perfectly, I’m terrible” can be paralysing. This mindset leads to self-doubt and anxiety but it is certainly not uncommon. One study actually found that nearly 70% of college or elite athletes experience some form of perfectionistic behaviour, which can often disrupt performance and lead to anxiety and burnout.

Then there’s comparison. Thoughts like, “She’s way more talented than me” can derail your confidence really fast. Although comparison can sometimes motivate you to push yourself a little more, excessive comparison often leads to lower self-esteem, demotivation and mental fatigue.

Lastly, overthinking results instead of the process can kill your confidence. When we measure our worth by outcomes, like goals scored or races won, we lose sight of what really matters: effort, preparation, and mindset. Confidence cracks when we start measuring it by results instead of the journey toward those results.

How to Build Real Confidence

So, how do we build real confidence? Lets give you some practical tips to help you embrace doubt and turn it into a powerful ally.

Act First, Confidence Follows

Don’t wait to feel confident before acting. Often, the feeling comes after you’ve taken action. Think of it as a leap of faith. You might not feel ready, but once you take that leap, you’ll find that confidence follows. Trust me, if you focus on taking action, even if you don't feel 100% confident, you'll likely perform better than if you let your anxiety dictate your actions.

Create Evidence

Confidence grows from small wins. Every rep, every recovered mistake adds proof: “I can handle this.” Celebrate these small victories; they are the building blocks of your confidence. For instance, a football player who successfully completes a series of accurate passes in practice can draw on this success when under pressure in a game.

Train Your Self-Talk

Your inner dialogue matters. Swap “What if I mess up?” for “What if I handle it well?” Redirecting your thoughts can shift your mindset from fear to empowerment. Positive self-talk has been shown to improve confidence, boost focus, and most importantly, improve performance. So practice, practice, practice!

Anchor Moments

Remind yourself of times you performed well despite doubt. Think of these moments as your personal confidence evidence file. For instance, remember the time you nailed a presentation despite feeling nervous. When nerves creep in, pull out these memories to fuel your confidence.

Embracing Confidence Amid Doubt

In the end, confidence isn’t about being free from doubt; it’s about embracing it and still taking action. It’s knowing that feeling nervous is part of the game and that you can still perform at your best despite those feelings.

So, the next time you find yourself doubting, remember: it’s okay. You’re not alone, and you have the power to turn doubt into confidence.

If you’re looking to learn more about building your confidence or want to share your own experiences, feel free to reach out! Let’s chat about how we can transform those doubts into stepping stones for success.

A gymnast performing on a balance beam