Better Together: How Conflict Management and Constructive Feedback Drive Team Performance

I'm sure you've all seen those teams where technically everyone gets along…but something still feels off. No one argues. No one says anything directly or pushes back and everyone always says “yeah all good :)” but then proceeds to boot the ball directly at the wall with full force.

On the surface, it looks calm. Underneath? It’s quietly boiling and tensions are rising.

And honestly, that kind of team can often be way more fragile than the loud, opinionated ones who seem to argue, debate, and occasionally look like they might throw a water bottle at each other (but never actually do).

Sometimes, The Problem Is Too Little Conflict

One of the biggest myths in team sport is that strong teams don’t have conflict. They absolutely do.

They just know how to handle it without turning it into a personal attack, a silent standoff, or a group chat explosion at 11pm the night before a big game.

Most athletes avoid conflict because they don't want to upset their teammates or coaches and definitely don't want to be blamed for causing a scene or being a "drama queen."

So instead of saying something early, teams do what humans do best.

They avoid it.

And avoid it.

And hope it magically sorts itself out.

What Happens When No One Says Anything

When small issues aren't addressed (and don't magically sort themselves out). They start to ferment.

Until suddenly:

• communication drops

• trust fades

• the game feels stiff and awkward

• performance plummets

And no one can quite explain why “the vibes are just off.” Which is usually code for: there are about five conversations that should have happened weeks ago.

Avoiding Conflict Creates Distance

We often think that by avoiding difficult conversations we're protecting the team and secretly we hope that the issue will magically vanish (which it usually never does). In reality however, by delaying the conversation, you only delay discomfort and increase resentment.

Also, lets be clear for a second, when I talk about "conflict", I don't mean shouting, blaming, or calling people out for fun. I'm talking about listening to each other, sharing perspectives and giving honest feedback without attacking anyone or being disrespectful.

This kind of conflict actually brings teams closer together.

Why Teammate Feedback Matters (yes, even when it's awkward)

A lot of teams rely heavily on coaches to do all the feedback and then feel personally victimised when feedback comes from their teammates because their ego gets hurt. But inside high-performing teams, feedback needs to flows sideways too. Your teammates often see things your coach might not have even noticed and can provide you with valuable feedback that can genuinely improve your performance for the better.

Teams that talk more openly and give each other constructive feedback, tend to trust each other more and don't let tiny issues turn into full blown shouting matches.

The Bit We Often Miss: Individual Psychology

Here’s where it gets interesting (and mildly uncomfortable). Time for a little bit of self awareness. Team problems are rarely just “team problems.”They’re often made up of individual patterns bumping into each other head-on.

Some athletes avoid conflict because they hate disapproval. Some take feedback personally because it triggers self-doubt. Some go quiet when challenged. Some get louder to protect themselves. And others pretend like they just don't care (even though they do).

None of this makes someone a bad teammate, but if you don’t understand your patterns, it’s very easy to misread others and escalate things without meaning to.

How To Improve Communication In Your Own Team

You don't need constant agreement to be a great team. In fact, challenging an idea or opinion respectfully can actually help your team to grow and develop.

So if things feel uncertain in your team, I challenge you to try this:

• bring up issues before it turns into passive aggressive comments

• focus your feedback on one's behaviour rather than their personality

• accept that discomfort is part of growth

• talk about problems without turning them into blame

Great teams are never conflict-free. They’re conflict-capable. And that’s a big difference.

Conflict, when handled well, strengthens trust, clarity, and accountability. So if something matters, say it. Because avoiding the conversation might feel easier in the moment…but it’s usually much harder on the team in the long run.

And no, “the vibes being off” is not a long-term performance strategy. If your team is struggling with communication issues or you personally want some more guidance on how to deal with difficult teammates or coaches, feel free to reach out or schedule a discovery call with me :)